If you know me or have heard me speak, you’re likely familiar with my passion for giving. While I try to live that commitment through my own actions, one of the greatest privileges of my work is witnessing how a growing number of our clients are inspired to give—each in their own way. Some lead loudly, inspiring others through action and example. Others give just as generously, choosing to make their impact privately. In the stories that follow, you’ll see how both approaches reflect deeply personal values—and create meaningful, lasting change.
The reach of public giving
The first story is one you may recognize by name: Alisa Abecassis. Alisa is a client and friend whose approach to giving is as thoughtful as it is far-reaching.
Alisa and I first met through our kids’ school where I was invited to talk to students at their investment club. Once we connected, we recognized our synergy immediately—particularly when it comes to meaningful giving. Alisa will tell you she takes giving further than most people, and over the years, I’ve seen that commitment lived out in countless ways. Not only does she give generously to causes that matter to her, but she actively encourages others to take action as well.
You may recognize Alisa’s name from my book, Giving, where I shared the story of her birthday party on New Year’s Eve. At the event, she shares stories from the work at Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) here in Orange County—and in lieu of birthday gifts, she asks her guests to donate to the organization. “The response and the funds we’ve raised together have been tremendous,” says Alisa. “Over and over, people have thanked me for the opportunity to give to such an important charity—and they’ve been inspired to get more involved themselves.” She has also recruited friends to join her in adopting an IDF battalion, raising funds for essentials ranging from gloves to coffee machines, and sending letters and artwork from our local school, so soldiers feel supported by the broader community.
To help Alisa increase the impact of her charitable gifts, I recently recommended she set up a Donor-Advised Fund (DAF) at the Jewish Community Foundation Orange County. “Giving through the DAF is super convenient,” she says. “I can get the tax right off right away and donate appreciated shares without showing a taxable gain. I also like that I can let the funds sit in the DAF and grow and make donations when I am ready to—even years later.”
Alisa loves the personal connection that can come with values-based giving, and she prefers to support ‘lean and mean’ organizations without excess layers of administration, ensuring her dollars are used where they matter most. Her most recent act of giving: funding two children from Israel to bring them to the US for a two-week experience alongside other children who have gone through the same trauma of losing family members in the October 7 attacks. “I know who these children are. I know what they’ve suffered. And I know for certain my money is changing their lives for good. What more could I ask?”
What is Alisa’s advice to anyone new to giving? “Start by giving to what matters most to you. You’ll be rewarded in ways you could never anticipate. And trust that the return on investment—-the ROI—you receive from giving is very real. I’ve found that whatever I give always comes back to me. Call it karma or call it magic, it happens!”
Alisa was recently named the Outstanding Volunteer Fundraiser by the Association of Fundraising Professionals, and she was listed among the 125 Most Influential People in Orange County by the Orange County Register.
The power of anonymous giving
While Alisa chooses to create a ripple effect by being public about her giving, others prefer to give quietly and without recognition. That is true for the client whose story follows—and whose generosity I am sharing without a name. The approach is different, but the impact is just as meaningful.
For this giver, the path to becoming a philanthropist came as a complete surprise, even to her. When her husband passed away, she had long been content to take a back seat when it came to the family finances. Though she and I had met a few times over the years, it wasn’t until her husband required full-time care that we truly began working side by side. And it was only after his death that I had the privilege of laying out her new financial reality—and helping her create a giving strategy.
In short, she found herself far wealthier than she had ever imagined. Her husband had been a meticulous engineer, carefully analyzing every business decision and every investment. Over time, that discipline compounded into far more than she had ever imagined. “When I finally understood the full scope of what my husband had built, I was stunned,” she told me. “We had no children, so my first thought was, ‘What am I possibly going to do with all this money?’ And even then, it was my husband’s example that showed me the way forward.”
As his health declined and it became impossible for him to continue managing the couple’s four-unit apartment building, he chose to donate the property to his alma mater. The strategy allowed the proceeds from the sale to support meaningful research while also providing his wife with guaranteed income for life.
Notably, he chose to make the gift anonymously. There would be no name on a building, no public recognition, and no expectation that his wife attend fundraising events (“which are not my thing at all!” she told me). What mattered was the quiet certainty that the funds would support research in two areas close to his heart: Alzheimer’s disease—which had affected his mother—and prostate cancer.
That commitment to anonymity became the guiding principle for her own giving strategy.
She has no direct heirs, but she is very close to her two nieces. While leaving the entire estate to them was an option, she felt called to do more with the wealth now at her fingertips. Ultimately, she decided to gift 50 percent of the estate to be split between her nieces, and the rest to charities that are close to her heart. To help work out the details, I introduced her to Wendy Arenson at the Jewish Community Foundation Orange County. “What impressed me greatly was the thank you email Wendy sent me after our first meeting,” she says. “I knew right away that she was hands on, and it gave me trust in the organization and their approach.” Wendy worked with her personally to identify organizations that she was involved with and causes she cared about. In the coming months, we will all work together to put her plan into action, including setting up a DAF at DAFGiving360 to fund her current charitable giving strategy. And every dollar will be given without recognition—just as her husband would have wanted.
“Since my husband passed, I’ve relied on Gideon for guidance in so many areas,” she says. “I trust him completely—not just to help me make good decisions, but to execute them ethically, honestly, and thoughtfully, without requiring me to analyze every detail the way my husband did. That was his strength, not mine,” she adds with a smile.
Why we give
What these two stories remind me is that giving is never about formulas or comparisons. It is about people. It is about values shaped over a lifetime, moments that change us, and the desire to do something meaningful with what we have been entrusted.
I feel incredibly fortunate to sit beside clients at these moments—sometimes during joyful seasons and sometimes during the most difficult transitions of their lives—and help them think through what they want their giving to say about who they are. For some, that means leading openly and inviting others along. For others, it means giving quietly, with no expectation of recognition.
My role is simply to listen, to guide, and to help turn intention into action, so that each client’s generosity reflects their values and creates the impact they hope for. When that happens, giving becomes more than a transaction. It becomes a legacy.
